5 Higher Ed Mistakes I Have Made With My Kids

I have long been a fan of how Matt Reed writes about his family. Maintaining family privacy goes a long way in bringing our superior work home with the matte industry.

When I let Matt know how much I admired his writing style about his kids and partners through the higher ad lens, he encouraged me to give it a shot. So here goes.

For the past two weeks, my wife and I have been attending introductory events for our daughters. We did two graduations in one week because our eldest daughter Kovid started two years late.

Watching this show and seeing my kids in Regalia and trapping all the beginnings brings to my head all the things that I got wrong as a superior parent. Here are some of the top mistakes I made with my kids:

Mistake # 1 – Thinking I can reduce the madness of the college admissions process:

We are lucky to have a nice public high school in the college town where we live. The downside is that high school students experience a lot of stress and strain throughout the college admissions process.

Many parents of children go to fancy schools. It didn’t seem like a good thing to tell our kids that it was so easy to be accepted into a fancy school when we were applying.

It doesn’t seem to be helpful to tell our kids that there are so many awesome, wonderful, and top-notch colleges out there. We tell our kids to focus on a school that fits their strengths and aspirations and doesn’t focus on ranking, status or brand.

It doesn’t work.

It turns out that peers are faster than parents.

My kids have felt the pressure of the college admissions process. If anything, my request puts more pressure on them to put less pressure on the process.

Mistake # 2 – Overvaluing my ability to judge the right college for my kids:

I thought I knew what a good college should be. And so, what a wonderful college it will be for my kids. I was confused.

In my opinion, Adarsh ​​College is one where teaching is paramount. What I wanted for my kids was a place where professors (term track all) could get to know students as individuals.

I’ve highlighted schools with a variety of small to medium-sized liberal industries. A place where I thought the class would be small and the professors would be careful.

What actually happened is that my little girl moved from one of those small private liberal art schools to a large public research university. And he was much happier to find a place to explore and find his way to a bigger school. He found strong ties with those small classes and professors in a small college located at his larger university.

Mistake # 3 – Going on too many college tours:

We went on many college tours.

All of this is entirely my responsibility for visiting the campus. I loved visiting the college campus. Ask me what my favorite thing in the world is, and I’d say go to a college campus.

The problem is that you arrive at a deductible return from a campus visit at a specific time. And then you go to negative returns. There are only so many schools that any potential applicant can process rationally.

The lesson here is that educators should not listen to their parents’ advice when planning to visit their potential students. Instead, high school juniors / seniors should bring a reasonable list of their top few schools and then, if possible (and substantially privileged), visit them.

Mistake # 4 – Not knowing too much about the transfer process:

Our youngest daughter has been transferred since her first year. He does this entirely on his own. I had no help.

It wasn’t that I couldn’t help him with the transfer process. It was on her, and it’s good she did it all herself. It’s more that I really talk about how it’s normal to transfer it. Or the timing of the transfer, what questions to ask, or to be wary of damage I had no insight into.

Since I never moved as a student, I didn’t understand internally how common a transfer is. Since I do not work directly with any of the students transferred to my higher education work, I had no insight into the process.

What I have learned is that parents (at least our parents) put all kinds of emphasis on primary college selection. And very little focus on where our kids might end up graduating.

Mistake # 5 – Thinking that my knowledge of the higher education system translates to how to be a higher ad parent:

My last mistake when it came to my kids’ college experience was believing that I knew more than I did. There is a frustrating little connection between professional higher education skills and practical family-related higher education knowledge.

Most likely, parents who are therapists (or hostage negotiators) will tell you the same thing. You may know a lot about your professional life, but be aware that knowledge translates into anything related to parenting.

Smart experts know how much they don’t know. My identity as a student of higher education blinds me to how little I understand about my kids’ college journey.

Fortunately, my kids navigated their college experience – and did it their own way. So maybe I’ve done some things along the way.

What higher mistakes have you made with your kids?

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